Marriages never explode. There is never one event that causes a couple to call it quits. Instead, the demise of a marriage is more like a slow leak. After a time, the marriage goes flat. Too many couples were not willing to fix the leak in the first place. And too many couples are not willing to invest the time, put in the hard work, and effect the personal change needed to restore and grow the relationship.

So the key is to maintain a sense of oneness.

I use three words to describe this biblical concept of oneness.


  1. Connection

Connection is the intercourse of body, mind, spirit, and emotion. All marriage couples understand the oneness of body in the sexual relationship. But that same connection has to be present in other areas as well. The physical connection comes most naturally. Mental, spiritual, and emotional oneness takes time to nurture and develop.


  1. Mission

I believe couples must have a marriage mission. The chief end of man is to bring glory to God, so the primary purpose of marriage is to do the same. A husband and wife have to be going the same direction at the same time for the same reason—in one word—mission. God brought you together to do what you could not do alone. He has a mission for your marriage.


  1. Mystery

Ready for a profound statement…man and woman are different. Shocker, right? We are wired differently. We view things differently. But here’s the kicker. Diversity creates strong oneness. If we are willing to deal with our differences, the differences will fuse oneness instead of driving us apart.


So how do you define oneness in marriage? What do you do to create and maintain it? What are some things that threaten oneness in your marriage?

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