“Am I good enough?” “Am I worthy?” “Does my life count?” “Will I be remembered?” All these questions, and many more like them, come from a heart desiring significance. It’s this drive for significance, or the fear of insignificance, that places us on a perilous path. Let’s consider the story of Absalom, who, I believe, struggled with the fear of insignificance.

Absalom’s story reads like a Tom Clancy thriller woven together by espionage, revenge, murder, conspiracy, revolt, and a super-sized ego. Absalom was the king’s son seeking to find himself. But he learned that position doesn’t bring meaning. The palace life left him wanting. Absalom had to wrestle with the realization that appearance doesn’t bring significance. In all of Israel, “there was no one so much to be praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom” (2 Samuel 14:25 NIV). Scripture notes that Absalom cut his thick hair once a year when it grew too heavy for him to carry around. I wish I had that problem. His external appearance didn’t satisfy the longing in his soul. After a series of bad decisions, Absalom led a revolt against his father, King David, and finally was killed when his impressive hair got caught in the branches of an oak tree. His life ended hanging from a tree with three javelins thrust into his heart. An undignified death, to say the least.

Before he died, Absalom’s fear of insignificance led him to build a monument to himself.

2 Samuel 18:18
Now Absalom in his lifetime had taken and set up for himself the pillar that is in the King’s Valley, for he said, “I have no son to keep my name in remembrance.” He called the pillar after his own name, and it is called Absalom’s monument to this day.

That’s what you do when you fear insignificance. Because of self-focus, you build a monument to yourself. Are you building any monuments to yourself to placate your fear? Think about that. We’ll leave it there today, and tomorrow, we’ll learn how to change the focus of your heart.

Father,
Give me a time of self-reflection. Am I building monuments to myself? Am I using people, positions, and possessions to make me feel significant? As I quiet my heart and listen to you, point out any monuments I am building so I can tear them down and keep my heart focused on you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.