Do you find it difficult to pray with your spouse? If the answer is “Yes” you are not alone. It is estimated that less than 10% of all Christian couples pray with each other. It’s not surprising. Praying with your spouse is as vulnerable as it gets. You are praying with the person and to the God who both know you intimately. While you can impress others with your lofty “Christianese” prayer clichés, your spouse just rolls his or her eyes (actually, can you roll your eyes with your eyes closed? Never mind).
Vulnerability is not the only reason spouse don’t pray with each other. There are different expectations. There are different styles of prayer and preferred times of the day. And, let’s face it: prayer is spiritual warfare. Satan doesn’t want husband and wives praying together.
But…regardless of the challenges, couples must develop the habit of praying together. Here are five ways to help you get started.
- Make praying together a priority.
Urgent things will always crowd out the most important things. Make prayer a priority.
- Set a time to pray.
God is not open for prayer only between 4:00—6:00 a.m. There is no sacred time to pray. Establish a time that works for you and your schedules. God is not impressed by length but by sincerity.
- Begin by praying silently.
If you are not used to praying together, begin by sitting or kneeling next to each other and praying silently. When comfort and trust is built, finish the prayer time by praying aloud.
- Write out your prayers.
If you are not comfortable praying out loud together, write out your prayers and read them to each other. In time, your reading will turn to paraphrasing and your paraphrasing to spontaneous prayer.
- Start a family prayer journal.
Make a list of the things that you want to pray about. Leave some space so you can record how God answered that specific request.
Prayer is simply communicating with God. Let him know what’s on your heart individually and collectively as a couple. Pray that God will keep your marriage strong. Pray that he will give you needed wisdom in raising your children. Start praying for your children’s spouse when they are young. There is a lot we need to be praying about! And a lot we need to be praying about together.